I had several people talk to me about my recent post, “Do you know how to operate in public?” State Farm was embarrassed when a private letter was publicized in social media and mainstream media, all because a diligent employee followed accepted procedure in a situation that might have demanded an exception. Most of my questioners lamented that private conversation is no longer private, but we can’t just pine away for the good old days. We need to live in the here and now. And times have changed. One person asked me how he could know when he is operating in public if private communication is no longer safely private, which is a good question. Every employee now has to think like your company spokesperson.
One answer to the question is, “Everything you do is now in public.” I sometimes tell people this, and it is a great sound bite, but it is an oversimplification. If you send an e-mail to your boss about a problem you’re having in the shipping department, he probably won’t update his Facebook status with the information. So, while it is possible that everything you do could be publicized, I think it is more nuanced than that.
The more I think about it, the more I think it has to do with the relationship between you and the person you are speaking with, and with their motivation for making something public.
If it is someone you know and trust, you can probably continue to count on the right things remaining private. That’s why you trust them. The real question comes up when you don’t know someone, as in State Farm’s case.
When you don’t know someone, you have to ask yourself if they have any motivation for making this public. In the State Farm case, they most certainly did, because keeping the letter private left all the power in the insurance company’s hands. They had the legal right to collect and the ability to enforce that right. Making the letter public could change that power dynamic by bringing the weight of public opinion. That seems like a great motivator to make something private public.
That’s what we need to ask ourselves every time we do something seemingly in private. Of the others who see it, what is their motivation to make it public? Might they want to change the power dynamic? Or get some attention for themselves? Or embarrass the powerful? Or make a political point? By thinking through the motives involved, you can better answer the question, “How should I handle this?”
If you don’t know the person and you can imagine a motive to betray a confidence, then you are probably better off acting as though each of these private moments is really a public one. If you don’t want others to know about it, don’t do it.
